Michael L.

Response to Essay 1

 

For my first essay, I got 80 out of 100. Which I think I did a fairly good job on my essay. The feedback from my TA make me realize that I keep repeating myself over and over again. Although I do have good points with strong evidence to support my point, however my essay appears to repeating my points in this case I kept mentioning how our emotion and perception can justify the knowledge in humanities. Which I think I need to have better transition to connect with my ideas, because in my essay it sounds like they are isolated ideas that somehow repeating the points I have made. Although repeating the points I have made can be a useful technique, but what I have realize is I should have link my ideas together as this can make my essay less repetitive and allow readers to focus on my idea with a better flow of structure. Furthurmore, my TA also noted that I should expand my vocabulary as this can allow me to have a greater flexibility on the word choice in the essay. Last but not least, one of the major problems I have is my grammar, I always have a bad habbit for skimming through my work instead of reading my essay out loud which I think I should start changing my old habits and start reading my essay out loud to correct my grammar and any errors in my essay.